Act I

The show begins with the father greeting the audience and introducing his wife, teenage daughter, seven-year-old son, and father-in-law (known as grandpa). The father leads the audience in choosing the name of each character. ("Gone To Oregon"). In the filmed show on YouTube the father is named Jack Bauer, the mother is named Slippery When Wet, the grandpa is named Titty Mitty, the son is named Craphole and the daughter is named Mouthface. Father tries to convince the kids that the journey to Oregon will be fun and educational, while Mother passive-aggressively points out that Father burned down their farm. The journey begins in Independence, Missouri, and the family walks through the town, receiving honest but depressing advice from the townspeople ("Independence!"). They decide to go down to the general store to buy only bullets (their reasoning being that as a family of farmers, they don't need any food).

Daughter is approached by a stranger named McDoon. As they flirt, he warns her about the famous outlaws The Bandit King and Cletus Jones. Upon hearing his name, Cletus appears and inadvertently reveals McDoon is the Bandit King. Mother arrives and scares McDoon away, much to the dismay of Daughter. As the women leaves, McDoon vows revenge. In the meantime, the general store manager has swindled Father into purchasing a wagon in terrible condition for an outrageous price, along with a deformed ox.

They finally begin their journey, and while the rest of the family complain, Father enjoys the fun of the family road trip ("The Grind"). When the wagon breaks and the family discovers Son ate the food reserves, Mother sends Daughter, Son, and Grandpa to go hunting. After Daughter fails to hit small game, Grandpa hands the gun over the Son and tells his outlandish story about his war against the “lobsters” in 1812 - he claims to have banished the lobsters to the sea, for which the lobsters retaliated by stealing the only million-dollar bill in the world, as it had Grandpa's face on it. Son is faced with a family of buffalo and a moral decision, while Daughter and Grandpa try to convince him to kill ("Pays To Be An Animal"). After Son guns down the buffalo, the family drag what little meat they can carry back to the wagon.

After Daughter tells Mother that she thinks she is overbearing, Mother fakes death so that Daughter will admit she needs her. When Mother 'wakes up', Daughter claims she wishes she didn't have a family to care about and that the Bandit King would take her away. After she leaves, Mother laments her daughter's sadness, and expresses her love ("When The World's At Stake").

Father tries to convince Mother to have sex, but fails several times. She finally agrees, only to be bitten by a snake as soon as they get in the bed together. Father saves her by sucking out the venom, but accidentally poisons himself. While in a coma, he hallucinates a mysterious voice telling him that the 'watchers' (the audience) will kill off one of the family members ("Dysentery World"). The family assumes Father is dead. However, he abruptly awakens and tells them of the fate the voice described. McDoon is watching from afar, planning to take Daughter away and make her his bride, upsetting Cletus Jones (who has his own feelings for the thief). McDoon sets the family wagon on fire while Cletus kidnaps Daughter ("Wagon on Fire").

Act II

The show restarts with Daughter in the wagon of The Bandit King, missing her family ("Lost Without You"). Her family arrives at a pub, where Mother pays for her drink with her wedding ring. Mother takes Son and leaves the pub to walk to Oregon, while Father is left with Grandpa. Grandpa gives Father a pep talk, admitting that he left the lobster world in disgrace after losing the love of his life to the lobster and his best friend, Cornwallis. The General Store Guy then enters the pub. Father decides that he will do anything to get back his family and approaches The General Store Guy, demanding a working wagon. When he refuses, Father threatens to shoot him and his partner, because he needed to fix his family no matter what ("When The World's At Stake (Reprise)"). The General Store Guy gives Father his wagon. Father takes the new wagon on the trail, picking up Mother and Son on the way. Mother is overjoyed, and takes the reins, setting the pace to grueling and the rations to barebones ("Speedrun").

While the family races to Oregon, Cletus Jones reveals his jealousy to Daughter, who constantly rejects The Bandit King's advances. The trio come upon the Columbia River, and the bandits decide to float their wagon across the river ("Caulk The Wagon"). While in the river, they hit a rock that causes them to fall out. Daughter grabs onto a rock while the thieves are swept away. The family arrives just in time to see Daughter in the river. Father tells the family they will need to ford the river to save her. When Son protests, remembering a warning from an Independence town person, Mother declares they are a family. They manage to reach Daughter, but crash and wreck their wagon. Luckily, every member of the family is saved by Grandpa's lobster nemesis, Cornwallis.

The family is thrilled to see the Oregon border just a few yards away. When they reach the state line, they are stopped by a doctor (Joey Richter), who tells them only the healthy members of the party can continue to Oregon, and one of them (chosen earlier by the audience) is about to die of dysentery. The doctor announces the victim, who says their final goodbyes to the rest of the family, complete with all the sounds and smells of death by dysentery ("You Gotta Go").

Determined to reach Oregon as a family, the remaining members dragged the body across the border, and are amazed when the victim comes back to life thanks to the pure Oregon air (except in the case of Daughter and Mother, who were only pretending to be dead). Grandpa discovers his million-dollar bill in his pocket that the lobsters returned to him, and shares his fortune with his family. To celebrate, Son finally convinces the family to help realize his dream of skinny dipping ("Naked In A Lake").