grass widow

The word appears in the Germanic languages in different forms and senses, but the oldest (both 16th century) are English grasse wydowe and Middle Low German grasswēdewe, both meaning “girl who has lost her virginity, harlot”. Therefore “grass” in all likelihood refers to a bedding for premarital sex. Compare the expression grass gown (“premarital loss of virginity”). The girl became a “widow” in the sense that she was neither married nor a virgin.[1][2] The sense then developed through “married woman who has relations in her husband’s absence” to the contemporary, softened meaning. Compare Dutch grasweduwe, Swedish gräsänka, German Strohwitwe.

• (UK) IPA^(key): /ˈɡɹɑːs ˌwɪdəʊ/

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grass widow (plural grass widows)

1. A married woman whose spouse is away. [from 19th c.]
   • 1941, James M. Cain, Mildred Pierce, New York: Random House:

     Then Mrs. Gessler shook her head. "Well, you've joined the biggest army on earth. You're the great American institution that never gets mentioned on Fourth of July -- a grass widow with two small children to support. The dirty bastards."

   • Isaac Bashevis Singer, translated by Marian Magid and Elizabeth Pollet Collected stories : Gimpel the fool to The letter writer: Gimpel the fool & other stories, The Spinoza of Market Street, Short Friday & other stories, The séance & other stories, "Yentl the Yeshiva Boy", New York : Library of America : Distributed in the United States by Penguin Putnam, p. 461:

     And who ever heard of a demon sending his wife a divorce? When a demon marries a daughter of mortals,he usually lets her remain a grass widow.

   • 1974, GB Edwards, The Book of Ebenezer Le Page, New York, published 2007, page 226:

     I was disappointed when it was her who opened the door and said, ‘Ah, I had a feeling you were thinking about me! Come in, come in, do! I am a grass widow.’

2. (obsolete) An unmarried woman who has had premarital sexual relations; a former mistress. [from 16th c.]

• grass-widowed
• grass widower
• grass widowhood

• W. Martin with G[uy] A. J. Tops, et al. (1998) Van Dale Groot Woordenboek Engels–Nederlands [Van Dale Great Dictionary, English–Dutch], 3rd edition, volume I, Utrecht, Antwerp: Van Dale Lexicografie, →ISBN.

• Anatoly Liberman (2009 February 18) “Grass Widows and Straw Men”, in OUPblog‎, archived from the original on 2010-06-28
• Michael Quinion (1996–2024) “Grass widow”, in World Wide Words.